or the birth of the antibrand

fake nike antibrand

everywhere you look/ everywhere you shop/ BUY SHIT
there’s a brand with your name on it/ someone else’s name on it
and the birth of cool died years ago
the long drawn out deathwail rattling through subway tunnels
and through coffeeshop doors halfway around the world
carried high above skyscrapers and shifted around
by FAKE airbus and FAKE boeing
wearing FAKE gucci and FAKE armani 
FAKE tans and FAKE fucking handshakes in the boredrooms
you and I will never similarly witness
Protection Programs
for your and my protection apparently
this is where FAKE microsoft buys all its FAKE software
and FAKE apple and FAKE dell and FAKE nokia 
and FAKE blackberry and somewhere in a FAKE factory
the birth of cool died years ago, slipping quietly away
from the teat of globalization, a FAKE mother with her
FAKE child carelessly and casually castaway
somebody bring her another one
scout the countryside promising higher wages
and christmas fucking bonuses and christmas

everywhere you lock your doors/ book your holidays/ plan your escape
from the system/ within the system/ locked booked and planned
Systematic Overhaul of your FAKE dreams FAKE desires 
FAKE life insurance policies and FAKEDeath, EVERYWHERE 
you think you can go FAKE macdonalds and FAKE starbucks 
got there first, before you,
to build your image in their name/ to mould your name in their IMAGE
to classify your earning potential/ quantify your personal self WORTH 
to manage your mortgage repayments through FAKE banks 
{insert bank brand here} = {one brand name} = LOSS OF TRUST 
/in the global fistfuck tryst that is your FAKE life
Savings and Retirement annuity bullshit skingraft analprobe 
Godshucked whipping boys in FAKE mustangs and 4X4s 
gather on the corporate cliffs like FAKE lemmings testing the water
always testing the water for someone else/ someone like yourself
to come along and TAKE the FALL for

                        FAKE nike ANTI nike 
                             FAKE christ ANTI 

For all the things you think you want/ think you need/ for all the hours
filled with DIRT by FAKE television high definition pedigrees
of human mastication, chewed through by the machinery of FAKE 
progress/ everywhere you tread in FAKE nike carbon footprints 
follow you in the life you lead nobody nowhere toward nothing
in your FAKE brands with your FAKE trends and your FAKE friends
serving your TIME on server farms LIKE 
FAKE sheep in FAKE sleep 
with FAKE cash in FAKE flesh 
living LIFE as you would live DEATH 
in the never ending birth of cool
along beautiful production lines
where both clones and snakes
are MADE in FAKE 

      nike FAKE nike 



unhidden agendas

statement one: ANTIBRAND

3. ANTIBRAND is a CLEAR message
5. PURSUIT is not a CLEAR message

unhidden agenda one: REAL NIKE is FAKE NIKE 


1. FAKE NIKE is the inverse of REAL NIKE
2. FAKE BRAND is the value of a REAL BRAND reversed
3. VALUE is not WORTH
4. There is no SELF WORTH in REAL NIKE
5. To SPEND your life in PURSUIT is REAL FAKE
6. To spend your life without spending is REAL
7. FAKE is REAL when the message is CLEAR
8. REAL is FAKE when the message is NOT
9. The message is NOT CLEAR during PURSUIT

unhidden agenda two: FAKE NIKE is a CLEAR message 


2. CLARIFY your WORTH by rejecting PURSUIT
3. QUALIFY your CHOICE with CLEAR messages
4. FAKE NIKE is a CLEAR message
8. AUTHENTIC is not a CLEAR message

unhidden agenda three: FAKE and REAL are STATES of MIND 

fake nike antibrand


This message brought to you in the interests of FREEDOM



We’ve got a quirky new QR code

Print it and post it, where-ever you can find an open space,

an office space, a public space, outta space

Go for it…

qr code for tshirt terrorist designs under fire

… it links to the blog below, and appeals to your sense of justice

lest the religious freaks and corporate hoodlums

gain an upper hand and curtail every freedom you hold so dear… so

spread the word

Two Designs Under Fire

Two Tshirt Terrorist Tshirt Designs Under Fire

Late November we were contacted by a reporter from the Sunday Times who had seen our Kalifornia design in an artist’s portfolio (happily, the artist who completed the artwork, not some random artist). Said reporter was doing an article on the use of Hindu deities in T-shirt design or, as is more likely the case, saw our design and decided that it would make a great story.

We went through the palaver of having to answer questions about our irreverence, etc. This came as a surprise as we were simply interested in the satirical possibilities of using the goddess of death and destruction to comment on the downfall of American society, and the moral and ethical inconsistencies bound in their wholesale distribution of the twin evils of Capitalism and Globalisation… if Globalisation can be said to be sold, which for the purposes of this blog, it can. We never intended irreverence, but in retrospect we now realise our art can be pretty much in your face. Or it would be if we had the manic energy of successful marketers, not the haphazard energy of stoner creatives.

Along the way the South African Hindu Maha Sabha (yah, we know… we’ll refer to them as the SAHMS from now on) was set up by the media as our Official Opponents and they were Upset. We were threatened to have our Freedom of Expression drawn and quartered before the Human Rights Commission. We were indirectly threatened, through media channels, this time the Weekend Star, with a ‘severe challenge’, which was mentioned in the same sentence as the word ‘militancy’, so we hunkered down and prepared for the worst.

At no time, however, did we state that we would be pressured by the public to remove the design. What the SAHMS, later a DA councillor, and other godsfearing Hindus did not understand is that while we refuse to allow the direction of our art to be challenged by the occasional public outcry, we are bound, as commercial Tshirt dudes, to a more immediate and, one might argue powerful and present player in the Realms of Man (and Woman): Market Forces.

The Kalifornia design has never been popular. We don’t know why. Perhaps the characterisation looks too much like a psycho-smurf on acid to appeal to your average 16 – 34 year old. And yes, this is exactly the kind of thing that should appeal, but we don’t know… go figure – it has simply never sold well. Which is why, when we launched the design back in July 2010 it was removed after just 3 months. Secondly, we just don’t have the blank stock to print this 6 colour A3 monster. Our steel blank T supplier has baled on us (pardon) and we had limited reserves that were set aside for more popular designs. You can imagine then how irksome it was to have this whole debacle hit the papers, forcing us to re-issue the design and watch it practically market itself around the country (are you getting the irony here?).

Finally, we just couldn’t take the suspense of waiting for a design we could hardly print to sell to some freak out there with a thing for psycho-smurfs, thereby seriously derailing our not inconsiderable campaign to make money this Christmas, so we decided to take it down, again. This time to the fanfare of a thousand read-all-about-its, or none. It matters not to us. If the people who are offended by our art wish to market the art they are offended by, then this simply confirms that we are on the right path – there is some seriously fucked up shit going on out there, and we do need to comment on it, even if it means subverting and irreverenting the sacred symbols of some or other culture to do so.

Here she is. One more time (like the song) – Kalifornia. Sacred (notsomuch) love-child of the goddess Kali and Elvis Presley. Take it away…

click here for IOL story

kali fornia hindu spoof

The next case in point is a bit more tricky. Round about the same time we were fighting off the Hindus and their gods with our magical funsticks, a somewhat more serious adversary was lurking in the shadows… Anheuser-Busch InBev, owner of the Stella Artois label, which has become saddled with the unfortunate moniker of ‘Wife Beater’ in the UK.

There are various theories about how this came about, and for the owner of a mostly prestigious beer, it must make you want to catch spiders for sure! The general consensus is the problem started when Stella opened local (UK) brewing distilleries in Wales, and their price per pint fell through the floor. Now everyone could afford Stella on tap, and at 5.5% it was stronger than most other beers… a few too many, now that this was a distinct possibility, and you would probably go home and beat the wife a bit, before falling asleep in front of the telly. The same thing happened with Burberry, did’n’t? Once the hooligans get hold of your brand then it’s pretty much tickets, and we don’t mean season tickets neither.

(That being said, we’re not hooligans, we’re terrorists, but we oh so did get hold of their brand… and now it may be tickets for us…) Here’s the clincher…

Dear Sirs,

I am writing on behalf of Anheuser-Busch InBev, owner of the well-known trade mark STELLA ARTOIS. It has come to their attention that you have a T-shirt on sale with a print that is identical with Anheuser-Busch InBev protected logo however with the text “Wife beater” rather than “STELLA ARTOIS”. My client regards this as an infringement in their trade mark rights and look seriously upon these types of violations.

Anheuser-Busch InBev has not given you authorisation to use their brand on any of your products. After reviewing the above site we feel that this is an abuse of the STELLA ARTOIS brand and the content is not in keeping with the STELLA ARTOIS image. Therefore we kindly request that you remove this T-shirt from the site and stop selling this product.

Please get back to us with a confirmation on the above.


As you can see, if you’ve got this far with us, we’re in a spot of bother. Of course there was that case with that one Tshirt company and that local brewery and that Tshirt company came up trumps, eventually, but their message was socially relevant in ways that our is not. Perhaps. Wifebeating is something that we should talk about. I don’t mean like in meetings, etc, but as in Public Debate. So, OK, we have an argument for satirical relevance, sure, but the other Tshirt company didn’t carry a slur in the design that the label can’t seem to throw, so we’re keeping our options open while we seek the necessary legal advice.

To end then, we have decided to take both Tshirts offline for a while. Kalifornia until we find more steel Ts, and if we feel pyscho-smurfs are making a comeback… and Stella, my darling? Well… we’ll bring you back if we feel we can and we’ll plumb you for all you’re worth, while drinking Heineken no doubt.

Harry Fokker
Tshirt Terrorist Head

stella artois wife beater

Let Them Eat Oil


ronald mc donald brand emblem as hitler

army of clones

Welcome to your world, where every day something else you can’t do without
becomes that much more

homogenized, standardized, anesthetized, traumatized
vandalized, sanitized, franchized, defranchized

Globalized… zzz…

Yesterday you desired cheaper sneakers, generic burgers
Tomorrow you will want Polar Bears and cheaper oil.

A holiday on ICE or wintering in the ALBERTA TAR SANDS

Everything comes at a price, TEA from INDIA, MADE IN CHINA NICE!!!
Tomorrow you will want greener SUVs and a smaller international trade deficit

Today you want GLOBAL WARNING to disappear, vanished into thinner air

today you want CHINA INDIA RUSSIA to burn less coal,
you want NUCLEAR power stations that won’t melt
down, carbon concessions and endless credit

Peace and uninterrupted LOVE from the MIDDLE EAST
You want Saudi Arabia to burn less and export more
You want the GULF WAR WON without the war-torn-aftermath

You want the GULF of MEXICO to never run dry
and MEXICO and VENEZUELA… to burn less and export more!!!

You want the ocean running black and blue
powering an effortless stream of modcons and dotcoms

Welcome to your world has become a pristine desert
Today you desire, tomorrow you NEED OIL UNCAPPED
a broadband blanketing the globe, from horizon to HORIZON

You seek a bottomless WELL for your WELLNESS PRISON

And it doesn’t matter how much THE BURGER costs in PARIS…
at over US$200/ barrel
it don’t matter shit, because by then you won’t be lovin’ it

you’ll be livin’ (in) and dyin’ (in) it
thrashing out your last in mass-produced/
over-priced/ export-quality
meat jizz



Rolling Iron

Tanks a lot army protestWe are fathering protests
In our fathers’ prison states
And we’ll all be reunited
Or crushed against the gates

Oh, when the tanks come rolling in
Oh, when the tanks come rolling in
Lord, how I want to be in that RIOT
When the tanks coming rolling in

And when the guns begin to chime
And when the battles rage all night
Lord, how I want to be in that RIOT
When the flags begin to burn

And when the moon turns red with blood
And with the turbans mauve with blood
Lord, how I want to be in that RIOT
When Tahrir Square runs red with blood

Oh, when the Imam sounds the call
Oh, when the statues once raised fall
Lord, how I want to be in that RIOT
When the puppetmasters fall

Some say this world of trouble
Is the western world of greed
I’m waiting for that morning,
When our freedoms are appealed.

Oh When the New World Order is revealed
Oh When the New World Order is revealed
Lord, how I want to be in that RIOT
When the New World-fucking-Order is revealed

Oh, when the tanks come rolling in
Oh, when the tanks come rolling in
Lord, how I want to be in that RIOT
When the tanks coming rolling in


Wildcat Tendencies

from Police Custody

zakumi fifa world cup 2010

Police have confirmed that ZakumiTM was taken into custody in the early hours of Tuesday morning as the prime suspect in the mauling of a tourist, a visitor to our beautiful country, albeit an idiot with a camera who wanted the kitty to look a bit more lively. An SAPS spokesperson for the case has confirmed that owing to Zakumi’sTM “wildcat tendencies” he will not be released on bail, and pending an investigation into the incident might face manslaughter charges, which could be reduced to maneater charges given the specifics of the case.

Either way it is likely that ZakumiTM will now miss the tournament, throwing a dark shadow onto the event and possibly tarnishing Africa’s image as a continent capable of hosting a major sporting event such as the TM-driven FIFA World CUPTM.

Please Join Harry FokkerTM, and his Facebook friends, in petitioning the South African government and FIFA TM to release the kitty on bail, allowing him to fulfill his contractual obligations…



“We are not calling for his release on humanitarian grounds. We are doing so on FOOTBALL grounds*. We are saying that he is our MASCOT. This is the acknowledged MASCOT of the group that most blacks (and whites) (and coloureds…) hell, all SOUTH AFRICANS support, but more than that we are saying he is symbolic because we want all MASCOTS, all FOOTBALL prisoners, released not on humanitarian grounds but on the grounds that this is going to be part of how we build up a climate conducive to WINNING THE CUP

– HARRY FOKKERTM, and Bishop Desmond Tutu.


* aka soccer stadiums, that cost a small fortune to erect, and will theoretically continue to clothe and feed and educate a nation, somehow, long after the eventTM

Buffel Soldaat


South Africa and the Angolan Bush War
(Angola 1966 – 1989)

buffel soldaat buffalo soldier












There was a Buffel Soldaat in the heart of Angola,
Stolen from South Africa, brought to Angola,
Smoking on arrival, fighting for survival.

I mean it, when I analyze the ‘stench’ –
To me it makes a lot of sense

How the privileged whiteboy was a Buffel Soldaat,
And he was taken from South Africa, brought to Angola,
Fighting on arrival, smoking for survival.

Said he was a Buffel Soldaat, Dreadlord bastard
Buffel Soldaat in Russian Angola.

If you know your Sativa,
Then you would know where I’m coming from,
Then you wouldn’t have to ask me,
What’s this dagga in your duffel, privaat?

I’m just a Duffel Soldaat in this mess of a Border,
Stolen from South Africa, shoved into a Cassper,
Said he was fighting in a Ratel, Transported in a Buffel;
Said he was a poster boy for DENEL, ambushed in a Rooikat

Buffel Soldaat
troddin’ through a minefield, wo-ho-ooh!

Said he wanna run, intestines aint much fun,
When you hold them in your hand, yea-hea, yea-ea.

Said he was a Buffel Soldaat win the war for Apartheid;
Buffel Soldaat, Dead on Arrival,
Fighting in the bush, escaping in the bush
Driven from the Vaderland to the ass-end of oblivion.

Strippin’ through Caprivi in the arms of Maryjane;
Troopin’ in UNITA, a Buffel Soldaat
Smoking on arrival, fighting for the Sergeant:
Buffel Soldaat, fresh out of Basics

Stoners in the absence of reality


Humvee Dumvee


Chapter 11. The American Dream Machine

hummer general motors bankruptcy

all the King’s Horses and all the King’s men
Now hold a 60% share in US operations

General Mayhem abounds
in this most SOCIALIST of gowns

Our Emporer has a new Ride,
while the rest of us travel ECONOMY