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Wildcat Tendencies
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2010/06/08
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FREE ZAKUMI
from police custody
 Police have confirmed that ZakumiTM was taken into custody in the early hours of Tuesday morning as the prime
suspect in the mauling of a tourist, a visitor to our beautiful
country, albeit an idiot with a camera who wanted the kitty to look a
bit more lively. An SAPS spokesperson for the case has confirmed
that owing to Zakumi'sTM "wildcat tendencies" he will not be released on
bail, and pending an investigation into the incident might face
manslaughter charges, which could be reduced to maneater charges given
the specifics at hand. Either way it is likely that ZakumiTM
will now miss the tournament, throwing a dark shadow onto the event and
possibly tarnishing Africa's image as a continent capable of hosting a major sporting event such as the
TM-driven FIFA World CUPTM. Please Join Harry FokkerTM, and his
Facebook friends, in petitioning the South African government and FIFA TM to release the kitty on bail, and allow him to fulfill his
contractual obligations...
CLICK HERE
***
"We are not calling for his release on humanitarian grounds. We
are doing so on FOOTBALL grounds*. We are saying that he is our MASCOT. This is
the acknowledged MASCOT of the group that most blacks (and whites) (and coloureds...) hell, all SOUTH AFRICANS support, but more than
that we are saying he is symbolic because we want all MASCOTS, all FOOTBALL
prisoners, released not on humanitarian grounds but on the grounds that this is
going to be part of how we build up a climate conducive to WINNING THE CUP"
- HARRY FOKKERTM, and Bishop Desmond Tutu.
* aka soccer stadiums, that cost a small fortune to erect, and will theoretically continue to clothe and feed and educate a nation, somehow, long after the eventTM
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Lose some more
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2010/05/12
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FOREVER
How long supporters have to wait before
the South African Cricket Team
wins a tournament and bags a trophy
PROTEAS
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Democracy Rules, KO
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2010/04/27
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DISCIPLINE can take MANY FORMS....
Apart from what the ANC top brass suggest
I reckon, as a NATION
we go with: Option A.
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BUFFEL SOLDAAT
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2010/02/06
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BUFFEL SOLDAAT lyrics
South Africa and the Angolan Bush War
(Angola 1966 - 1989)
There
was a Buffel Soldaat in the heart of Angola,
Stolen from South Africa,
brought to Angola,
Smoking on arrival, fighting for survival.
I mean it, when I analyze the ‘stench’ -
To me it makes a lot of sense:
How the privileged whiteboy was a Buffel Soldaat,
And he was taken from South Africa,
brought to Angola,
Fighting on arrival, smoking for survival.
Said he was a Buffel Soldaat, Dreadlord bastard -
Buffel Soldaat in Russian Angola.
If you know your Sativa,
Then you would know where I’m coming from,
Then you wouldn't have to ask me,
What’s this dagga in your duffel, privaat?
I'm just a Duffel Soldaat in this mess of a Border,
Stolen from South Africa,
shoved into a Cassper,
Said he was fighting in a Ratel, Transported in a Buffel;
Said he was a poster boy for DENEL, ambushed in a Rooikat
Buffel
Soldaat troddin' through a minefield, wo-ho-ooh!
Said he wanna run, intestines aint much fun, When
you hold them in your hand, yea-hea, yea-ea.
Said he was a Buffel Soldaat win the war for Apartheid;
Buffel Soldaat, Dead on Arrival,
Fighting in the bush, escaping in the bush
Driven from the Vaderland to the ass-end of oblivion.
Strippin' through Caprivi in the arms of Maryjane;
Troopin' in UNITA, a Buffel Soldaat -
Smoking on arrival, fighting for the Sergeant:
Buffel Soldaat, fresh out of Basics
Stoners in the absence of reality
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Serve and Protest
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2010/01/17
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Given the recent increase in civilian shootings, following Police Chief Bheki Cele's call for Police to use
"deadly force" in an attempt to curb violent crime ahead of the...
FIFA 2010 South African World Cup...
and
deputy Police Minister Fikile Mbalula's clarification on the issue
with his call for them to "shoot the bastards"
Tshirt Terrorist proposes that the SOUTH AFRICAN POLICE SERVICE
change its motto from
"To Serve and Protect" to
"WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST"
 LADUUMA Cele, Zuma's pocket monkey, has yet to issue a response to our request...
and officers continue to wander the streets with their guns sticking out.
Watch your back. And your wallet and your watch... |
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Casterway
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2009/10/10
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Tshirt Terrorist uncovers National Conspiracy in
Bafana Bafana 2010 FIFA World Cup trophy bid
Jacob Zuma (the Original 100% Zuluboy) and the African
National Congress have established a TASK TEAM around Caster Semanya,
ostensibly to help the er athlete handle various pressures following this
country's botched attempt to defend her basic human rights AND win a medal at
the recently held
IAAF games in Berlin.
Underneath this seemingly innocuous attempt at correcting the mess ASSA (Athletics
South Africa) has engendered (and by
engendered we mean engendered) there exists a most devious and sinister ploy.
Consider for a moment that Caster is a keen soccer player, and that one of the
members of the task team is none other than Winnie Madikizela-Mandela. Winnie
(GBHPS) - God Bless Her Patriotic Soul - once had a soccer team all of her own
- The Mandela United Football Club (MUFC). And who could forget her Number One
Striker - Stompie Seipei (the little snitch who ended up in a ditch).
Now, we're not implying that Caster is in any danger. Far from it. Winnie (GBHPS) has
been instructed, along with other members of the task team, to secretly train a
squad of hermaphrodites, lead by Semanya, to replace the existing Bafana Bafana
team in the FIFA 2010 World Cup. Of course, there is no assurance that the 'aspirant' team will win the cup, but as Bafana Bafana play like a bunch of girls, it is likely that this new improved arrangement might see us advancing through the first round* Added to this, reports are coming in,
from our secret sources, that the imposter squad is receiving
"advice" from members of the
1976 East German Women's Olympic Team.
What could go wrong?+
Dr Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, (thankfully) former Minister of Health, is
reportedly also a member of the team (the task team, not the squad of hermaphrodites).
Nobody can, as yet, confirm what her role will be, although many suspect she will be
coming out at half-time to offer the obligatory beetroot. Orange
slices have been classified as entirely too western,
and everybody knows that
beetroot cures HIV/Aids.
___________
* unlike the Proteas
+Leonard Chuene could be called in to manage group PR
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Social deviant
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2009/08/17
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ASK ME HOW
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Humvee Dumbvee
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2009/06/10
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Chapter 11. The American Dream Machine
all the King's Horses and all the King's men
Now hold a 60% share in US operations
General Mayhem abounds
in this most SOCIALIST of gowns
Our Emporer has a new Ride,
while the rest of us travel ECONOMY
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Dude, where's my VISA?
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2009/03/30
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THE SOUTH AFRICAN GOVERNMENT
WANTS YOU
(you, not the Dalai Lama, not some shit-kicking peace prostitute...)
to SPEND some time in our lovely country.
We've got the 2010 FIFA world cup, plenty of clean sex,
lax drinking laws, township tours
muggings, shootings, Xenophobia
and Zulus.
so, get your ass on over here.
Good luck with that Visa, though
(especially if you're like some Nobel Peace Prize Laureate)
Just goes to show you... seriously now,
how idealistic, how obsolete the whole
FREE TIBET
thing really is,
In the present climate, in the ECONOMY WINTER,
as the Chinese are want to add,
the best you can hope for, the realistic option is
TIBET
at PRIME +1*
*terms and conditions apply**
**speak to your banker toady
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Van Drankwinkel - the OBAMA incident
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2009/02/08
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So... Rip Van Drankwinkel passes out sometime during APARTHEID
(n) colloq. bottlestore/ liquor store/ off-lisence...
(v) what happens after one too many
(term) suspect Nationalist practise of subjugation and marginalisation
(pre-democracy, pre-Mandela, pre-Obama. Precisely)
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