Propaganda

Jacob Zuma (the Original 100% Zuluboy) and the African National Congress have established a TASK TEAM around Caster Semanya, ostensibly to help the er athlete handle various pressures following this country's botched attempt to defend her basic human rights AND win a medal at the recently held
IAAF games in Berlin.

Underneath this seemingly innocuous attempt at correcting the mess ASSA (Athletics South Africa) has engendered (and by engendered we mean engendered) there exists a most devious and sinister ploy.

Consider for a moment that Caster is a keen soccer player, and that one of the members of the task team is none other than Winnie Madikizela-Mandela. Winnie (GBHPS) - God Bless Her Patriotic Soul - once had a soccer team all of her own - The Mandela United Football Club (MUFC). And who could forget her Number One Striker - Stompie Seipei (the little snitch who ended up in a ditch).

Now, we're not implying that Caster is in any danger. Far from it. Winnie (GBHPS) has been instructed, along with other members of the task team, to secretly train a squad of hermaphrodites, lead by Semanya, to replace the existing Bafana Bafana team in the FIFA 2010 World Cup. Of course, there is no assurance that the 'aspirant'  team will win the cup, but as Bafana Bafana play like a bunch of girls, it is likely that this new improved arrangement might see us advancing through the first round^* Added to this, reports are coming in, from our secret sources, that the imposter squad is receiving "advice" from members of the
1976 East German Women's Olympic Team.

What could go wrong?⁺

Dr Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, (thankfully) former Minister of Health, is reportedly also a member of the team (the task team, not the squad of hermaphrodites).

Nobody can, as yet, confirm what her role will be, although many suspect she will be coming out at half-time to offer the obligatory beetroot. Orange slices have been classified as entirely too western,
and everybody knows that beetroot cures HIV/Aids.